Shealys vs. the DMV

So today was the day we decided to tackle something we had been putting off for a long time - a trip to the DMV. Now, any DMV is bad, but we were dreading the jokers we knew we would encounter at the great state of South Carolina's Department of Motor Vehicles. I was dreading it so much that I thought about following my friend Julie's example and just not getting my new license but Wes advised me against that and we were off.....

So, picture this - tiny, dirty, poorly labeled government building. We were greeted by the geriatric security guard who was hard at work on his crossword puzzle. (Tax payer money being spent ever so wisely..) Okay, here is a tangent....

*This security guard had a dictionary on the table next to his crossword. Maybe it's just me, but how does a dictionary help with a crossword puzzle?*

So anyway, this "friendly" security guard informs us where to go and that when we get there the lady will tell us what we don't have so we can go home, get it, and come back to start over. The conversation goes a little something like this:

SG: "Yeah, you won't have everything you need. Nobody ever gets it on the first try."

Wes: "That seems completely inefficient."

SG: "Well, not really, it is one-stop shopping - everything in the same building."

Wes: "It's not one stop shopping if you have to come back 16 times!"

After that he kind of grunted in the direction we should head. He was clearly done with us. We waited in line and listened as almost every person in front of us was (rudely) turned away. Our turn came and we put on our game faces.

Us: "We need to get our driver's licenses and tag for our car"

(Fat, Grumpy)Lady: "You have proof of residency?"

Us: "Yes."

FGL: "Passports or birth certificates?"

Us: "Yes"

FGL: "Social Security cards?"

Us: "Yes"

FGL: "Marriage License?"

Us: "Yes"

FGL: "umm...(getting perturbed because so far we are winning) proof of insurance?"

Us: "Yes"

FGL: "And you have your out of state licenses?"

Us: "Of course"

pause

FGL: "Well, I guess you can go sit and wait" (Hands us a number ever so reluctantly.)

Yes! We have passed check point #1 and are cleared to wait in hard plastic chairs. And yes, all of those things were necessary to obtain a drivers license. By now my competitive juices are kicking in. It is us versus the DMV and damn if I'm going to walk away a loser. Our number is finally called and the new lady helping us watches in awe as we provide her with every necessary document. Thirty minutes of laborious typing later we are cleared to have our pictures taken. By now we all know who has won - the picture taking is just a formality. But wait! We give one final kick down the home stretch for a decisive victory....We both end up with great pictures!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the DMV tried its hardest, but bureaucratic inefficiency will lose out to Shealy hyper organization every time! They should put our picture in a frame on that security guard's desk with a caption that reads: "The only people to get it on the first try!"