Noah's Bicycle Monologue

Sometimes I wish that I carried a video camera around with me everywhere so that I could record all the funny things that Noah says and does. But alas, I don't, so the next best thing I have is recounting it here on the blog.

Tonight we decided to take a walk around the neighborhood with Noah on his bike and Liam in the stroller. Noah had to be coaxed because he really didn't want to stop playing with Wes' tools in the garage. We finally convinced him to put on his helmet and hop on his bike and at last we were off. And so was Noah's mouth. He literally did not stop talking for the entire mile loop. Here is a sampling of our (mostly one sided) conversation.

"Daddy, which way can we go? This way, past Miss Paige's house? Hey, wait! I haven't seen Miss Paige's new baby yet. I want to do that, when can we do that? Hey! I know, lets go fast. Okay, Daddy I will go fast and you will...." 

He stops, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out...a wrench!

"Wait, can you hold this? Its in my way."

We continue in much the same manner. Noah continues his running monologue.

"Can we ride down the hill please? I want to go fast down the hill. I will go down fast but push my brakes and not fall off. Okay. Okay Daddy? Daddy, can't we please go down the hill, I really REALLY want..."

"Yes! Noah we can go down the hill!" (Wes then turns and asks me if it would be bad to throw the wrench at him. I respond by telling him that it might be alright. I mean, he is wearing a helmet.)

As we wind our way to the back of the neighborhood Noah starts to get tired.

"Guys I am tired. My legs are scratchy, I have to stop!" We inform him that is not really an option. "But I can't keep pedaling, I am so thirsty. (Slumping over handlebars.) I can't do it! (Pause) Wait, I want to go really fast on this sidewalk and look for geese!"

We watch in confusion as our bipolar son begins pedaling at 90 mph down the sidewalk.

"Wow! Look at all this goose poop guys! Hey Daddy I have a great idea. Lets race! You run in the street and I will race on the sidewalk and we will race as fast as we can and I will win!"

"Noah, buddy I can't race you right now. I really have to pee and if I run I will pee all over the place."

Noah looks at Wes and scoffs, "Whatever Daddy, you're lying, you won't pee! Come on lets go!"

So, having used up the best excuse he could think of, Wes sees he has no choice and starts running. Noah is pedaling like a man possessed and I watch from a block back as they approach the corner/finish line and then die laughing as Noah's left pedal goes spinning right off his bike and he veers into the grass.

Under normal circumstances the broken pedal would have presented a bit of a problem but not tonight. Good thing we had that wrench!