A Rant

This may be one of those posts that only my friends who have young children can relate to, but I am going to write it anyway.

So, let me set the scene. It is 6:30pm - the end of a long, busy day - and I am trying to get the kids dinner. Wes is eating Mexican somewhere at his office Christmas party, and I am just trying to make it until bedtime. Of course right about this time is when I realize that the next morning is Noah's last day of school before break, and I have forgotten to get his teacher's their Christmas gifts to send in with him. So, at nearly 7pm when I should be loading them into the bathtub, I am unloading the kids from the car in the Target parking lot. I grab Liam in my right arm and hoist him onto my hip - all 26 pounds of him - and grab Noah's hand with my left hand, and try to get us into the store without being run over by crazy suburbanites doing their last minute Christmas shopping. I notice Noah's untied shoe and tell him to be careful, we will tie it when we get inside and Liam is in the cart. Then I hear a voice behind me say, "Excuse me, ma'am?"

I turned around and saw a women walking up behind us. She pointed to Noah's foot and said, "Do you realize that his shoe is untied?"

I am sure I stared at her like she was a crazy person. (She probably was.) Do I realize his shoe is untied? Is she kidding? Did she really stop me - while I am wrangling 2 kids in a parking lot - to bug me about my son's untied shoe?! I took a deep breathe and replied, "I do actually realize that, but I am just waiting until my hands are free to tie it." I sort of gesture with Liam and my left hand clutching Noah as if to say, Hey crazy lady, my hands are a little full, what would you like me to do about it?

"Well, I can tie it for you right now if you want." (This women clearly thought that his untied shoelace was the end of the world. I had a sneaking suspicion that she had never actually had any children.)

Oh sure. Please. Let's stop in the middle of this dark parking lot so that we can squat down and tie the kid's shoe. What do you think will run us over first? A Honda Odyssey or GMC Yukon?

So I gathered myself and calmly replied, "Thank you for the offer, but I'll take care of it in a minute."

She looked very displeased but walked away.

When Noah was about 7 months old a similar thing happened to me at Publix. He was sitting in the cart - strapped in - and I was putting our groceries in the trunk. I had my foot on the cart as I turned my back to put the bags in the car. A women actually had the nerve to come up to me and nag me because what I was doing was "very dangerous". She informed I should always put my baby in the car first because if I turn my back on him while he sits in the cart someone could walk right up and grab him. At that time in my life I was still very unsure about myself as a Mom. I kind of felt like I had been offered the job on a probationary basis and that at any minute they would tell me I wasn't cut our for it, and should look for employment elsewhere. So, instead of telling her to stick it like I should have, I actually apologized for leaving him in the cart and thanked her for her advice. It wasn't until I started driving home that I felt my cheeks get hot and the blood rush to my head as I got really angry. Who was she to just come up and criticize what I was doing with my own child?! I wasn't being dangerous at all, and any Mom raising young kids would probably do it just like I was doing. I realized that just because a person is older than me, it does NOT mean that they are always right. Or that they necessarily know more about kids than I do. A light bulb went off at that moment when I realized that I had enough Mom experience to  be confident in my choices. I did not have to listen to "advice" from every person who wanted to offer it up. I vowed that I would never again let a stranger, posing as "helpful", berate my mothering skills. (If I am beating my child in the grocery store feel free to step in and stop me - otherwise keep your opinions to yourself. I am doing the best I can.)

So, this time, I was proud of the fact that I firmly, but not meanly, told this lady thanks but no thanks. I was thinking how patiently I had handled it, while still letting her know that she did not have the right to tell me what to do. Of course, that was all ruined by what I did next.

Because I am me, as soon as she walked away, I rolled my eyes, stuck out my tongue a little, and made an exasperated sound. And then Noah turned to me and said in his usual loud voice,

"Mama! Don't make that face at her. She was just trying to help."

Oh son. Your untied shoe is the least of your problems.